


David Bowie, George Burns, and Reggie Jackson

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Thicker than Water [91]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Gen, Holidays, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 21:45:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16841023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: “You're approaching a landmine, baby girl, back up while you can.”





	David Bowie, George Burns, and Reggie Jackson

**Author's Note:**

> This story is in the Thicker than Water universe, I wrote it on December 19, 2010. I really love it here and feel like I can touch almost any subject. This story has racial and religious themes and is meant as offense to no one.

“Can I say something?” Penelope asked.

“May I.” Jason gently corrected.

“May I say something?” 

“Sure Penelope.” Dave said. “What's on your mind?”

“I just wanted to say that Black Jesus is definitely snazzier than White Jesus.”

Derek sputtered, throwing his hand up over his mouth to keep soda from going everywhere. Hotch snickered, handing him some napkins. JJ, Emily, and Lindsay laughed, Spencer looked confused, and Jason looked concerned.

“Penelope, there is no black Jesus or white Jesus.” Erin said. “There is only one Jesus.”

“But…” now it was Penelope’s turn to be confused.

“But what?” Erin asked.

“Well we went to St. Timothy’s a few days ago and its nothing like Mt. Olive Baptist. Jesus didn’t even look the same, we didn’t pray the same, and I could dance there. Hotch said they were singing most of the same songs but I don’t think he was right. Sorry Hotch.”

“It’s OK.” Hotch replied.

“That has nothing to do with Jesus, Penelope.”

“What does she mean, Jason.” Penelope looked at Jason.

“Well, the simple answer is that Jesus is just one man. Religion has many factions and each has their own interpretation of who he might be.”

“It’s like different actors playing the same character in different movies.” Emily added. “Remember how you said Edmund Gwenn was the best Santa?”

“I get that.” Penelope smiled. “So Jesus is like Santa?”

“Not really.” Erin shook her head.

“Well can you at least tell me if he’s black or white?” 

“You're approaching a landmine, baby girl.” Derek said. “Back up while you can.”

“That’s a complicated question, Penelope.” Dave said. “People often argue about it but no one is right or wrong.”

“Why do they argue? If he’s a real man then there has to be an answer.” She looked at Jason again. “May I have the simple answer please?”

Rossi smirked. Kids always had a million questions and Penelope Garcia had three times as many as most. It was great to see how Jason handled different situations and put out fires. The kids respected, liked him, and surely loved him. Dave found that sometimes he was in awe of the seventeen year old.

“Jesus is Jewish.” Jason said.

“Oh my God, for real! Wait a minute…”

“Here it comes.” Hotch said, a smile crossing his lips.

“But Jewish people don’t believe in Jesus. That’s why you celebrate Hanukkah and Passover and stuff, right? You told me that.” Penelope said.

“Yes,” Jason nodded. “That’s what I told you. Penelope, I promise to explain it all tomorrow. Its simple but can be very complicated too. The various religions haven’t made it any easier to explain.”

“OK.”

Penelope seemed satisfied and soon the table slipped back into several different conversations. Tonight Dave and Erin took the kids, along with Emily’s best friend Lindsay, to Mt. Olive Baptist Church to see their Christmas celebration. The week before they'd gone to St. Timothy’s to see their Christmas concert. He thought it was important for the kids to get out; be exposed to all aspects of life. DC was like a small island but was filled with so many different activities for them to enjoy. 

They were growing up and all of them were inquisitive and intelligent. Dave knew the lack of funds kept them in the house. Jason was also concerned about people asking too many questions. Dave thought it was important that he and Erin, as adults with money, help Jason that way. Erin reluctantly agreed. He was quite proud of how she was handling evenings filled with children of different ages and mindsets. They were all learning something from each other…their lives were richer because of it.

It was the Saturday before Christmas so after the evening show, Dave asked the kids where they wanted to go for dinner. Fuddruckers won hands down; Jason explained that it probably always would. They piled into cars, half in Jason’s Woody and the other half in Dave’s SUV, for the ride to Alexandria. Cheeseburgers and fries made the kids happy but Erin found nothing on the menu that suited her. She sipped her unsweetened iced tea, occasionally taking one of Dave’s fries.

“Can I…” Penelope paused. “May I ask one more question?”

“Of course you can.” Jason replied.

“Is David Bowie God?”

This time Morgan and Hotch couldn’t help themselves. They just started laughing. Penelope looked at them wearing a whimsical look on her face. She wasn’t bothered by it; she loved making them laugh.

“Who told you that, Penelope?” Dave asked. He looked at his wife and it seemed as if she was stunned speechless. While surely a rarity it was probably for the best.

“My dad did a long time ago. I asked him what God looked like and he pulled out Heroes on vinyl. I wasn’t sure so I asked my mom later if God was David Bowie.”

“What did she say?” Emily asked.

“She said it depended on who I asked. I thought I would ask you guys.”

“She's mostly right, kiddo.” Dave replied. “There are so many different interpretations of what he looks like you could probably fill another Bible. While Bowie is one of the more…interesting…ones I've heard it’s not improbable.”

“I always imagine Jimmy Stewart.” Hotch said. “Don’t ask me why but it’s totally Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey as God.”

“I imagine Reggie Jackson.” Morgan said. “I know he's not dead yet but I still do.”

“I had this dream once where it was Whoopi Goldberg.” JJ said. “That was kinda awesome.”

“George Burns!” Emily and Lindsay said in unison. “Jinx!”

“Erin, who does God look like to you?” Penelope asked.

“I can't say I ever thought about it.” She replied.

“Well can you think about it now and tell me.”

“I would probably say Michael Landon. I don’t know if that’s blasphemous or not but Michael Landon for sure.”

“What's blasphemous mean?”

“I’ll tell you later.” Erin said. “I promise.”

“OK. So God can be anybody?”

“I don’t think anyone has ever seen him.” Jason said. “And if they have he would come in an image that they would be able to understand, like Reggie Jackson or George Burns. David Bowie is as good an image as any I'm sure. You should finish your burger before it gets cold.”

“OK.” She nodded. “Thanks Jason.”

Jason smiled, finishing his dinner too. He was used to all the questions but looking over at Erin he could tell she was a bit flustered. This was it…this was a big part of raising kids.

“So everyone had a good time tonight?” Erin asked.

They all laughed when she said it but Penelope grinned.

“I thought it was awesome!” she exclaimed.

“I'm glad Penelope.” She smiled at her.

“I think this is gonna be the best Christmas ever.”

Erin glanced at Dave and he smiled at her. He took her hand, kissing it. He knew it was challenging but she was being a good sport. This has been a nice evening for the whole family; he was glad they’d spent it together.

***


End file.
